jolyn dislikes long profiles, they reveal too much, and where's the enigma in that? apart from that, jolyn is also an ugly monster, and if you have something against ugly people, then well, too bad.

jolyn adores music, androgynous boys, shark(boy)s, pink spiders, robots, black and red, the word 'awesome', musicians, and referring to herself as the third person, a trait she picked up from uncle goh.



(in no particular order)

ryan; yiling; elsia; cherie; tharsh; evelynwong; see ler1; see ler2; jumalia; kimberly; denise; dalila; weiping; nurul; shaun; kelvin; jessica; candice; grace; shyaza; chekseen; amirah; jaan; jedidah; nadzirah; juliana; aqilah; charlton; qixuan; aqila; xinyi; sili; samantha; melissa; jolene; nadia; nurul; suetfar; armeeza; joanna; melissa; sakinah; peishi; gurvin; wuyi; yingying; jennifer; dionne; peiwen; zakkiyah; azrina; estee; fiona; germaine; jiaqi; shirlynn; jacqueline; joshua; qianyun;

grouphug; ryan; postsecret; kennysia; xiaxue; levan; translation; dictionary; edison; youtube;

untold prophesy
lingyu
deborah
khairiah
cheryl
alvin

foto decadent ; moargh ; bias-ED.

iPod [video], sharkb0izx 101, scene hair, a lot of clothes, tongue, navel and lip piercings, shopping spree, a million billion trillion gazillion dollars, effective weight loss, accessories, skinnies, BILL!, a lot of moshing, 69 hours in a day, more gigs! ask me and i'll tell you

oops. i forgot. i deleted the tagboard out of vengeance.

and i think it unnecessary, you know? the way my friends are depleting. i'm not surprise if i wake up one day all lonely and cold.

actually. i wake up everyday with the same sense of dread and cold that wraps me up so tightly, i can't get out. i go through my days with the same monotony. how do i break out of this chain?

and guess what? i've been branded as the latest FAILURE. yes, i failed my maths test. how am i going to PULL MY SOCKS UP? (figuratively, duh. i don't pull socks - literally.)

i failed my maths test. i'm getting the boot. my life is so over.

thank you, friends. you were there when i needed you. i meant REALLY needed you. like now...

nobody - NOBODY - ever reassures me i'm not a failure.

i don't want to talk about it. it's only going to bring me down.

---------

how do you break the chain of monotony? how do you stop feeling depressed? how do you wake up from this nightmare? the one i call life?

shit. i just realize i'm as brooding as a poet. great! now i can be a poet. a deep and dark poet who enjoys rhyming about how others can bleed me dry.

except poetry is not going to feed me. plus my rhymes are shit. people are going to get tired of me ranting and raving about conniving bitches with such fevorance. then my books (books? i'm going to publish one?!) are going to go in the dump.

i just realize i'm not as predictable as i am.

stay away from me, conniving bitches and bloody wankers. i'm INSANE.

you gotta watch your back around me. one day - just one day, one fine day, when all the birds are chirping, the wind is blowing, and everything - i'll stab you in the back. just like how you did to me(:

and i call that retribution. karma.

watch out, babes. you're getting your just desserts soon enough.

actually, i think i'm trying too hard. trying too hard to be perfect when i know it's not worth my time. trying so hard to seem flawless while i'm broken inside.

and i'm still the ugly wretched bitch i ever was(:

no wonder. it's my retribution. somehow i don't think it's funny. it COULD be, you know. if it happened to someone else other than me.

hmm. don't you think it's funny? i desperately want people to talk to me. BUT GUESS WHAT! i stopped them. stopped them cold. stopped all connections with them. oh yay.

i deleted the tagboard so i don't have to answer anymore questions. i don't want to. i don't want to answer your questions. example: why you say you got no friends? i'm your friend what!

because the answer is simple. you never regarded me as a friend. friends = people you mix with. people you can relate to. people who accept you for who you are.

you choose to ignore me, you can't relate and understand how i'm feeling. you don't accept me because you expect perfection. you don't just expect. you DEMAND it. and i know i can never be that girl you want me to be.

you want me to be pretty. i'm not. you want me to be smart, i'm not. you want all the answers that i don't possess.

see? it's simple. you WANT it. i can't GIVE it. not because i don't want to.

i don't have it.

didn't you see?

--

I need this to get me through
can't resist and don't want to
believe it I know it's true
I can't beat and don't want to try

perfect hell

it's more to me than you ever will know
down here where the rest of us fell
waste away with nothing left to show
while I'm in this perfect hell

obsession has begun
possessed by destruction
how did I get so low
believe me no one knows
sometimes I can't hold on
and no one can help me

now it's got a hold of me
I don't think I can make it through this
now it's got a hold of me
the less I do the more it makes no sense

I'm walking pollution who's drained by delusions
on the verge of destruction I cave in to abduction
thin blood I'm bleeding my pulse won't stop racing
just as my heart explodes

no chance that I could win
too hard to not give in
I just don't feel the same
cause I'm the one to blame
sometimes I can't hold on
and no one can help me

now it's got a hold of me
I don't think I can make it through this
now it's got a hold of me
the less I do the more it makes no sense

I need this to be myself
it feels like I need some help
it's too late to save mysel
for it's just in my head

now it's got a hold of me
I don't think I can make it through this
now it's got a hold of me
the less I do the more it makes no sense

now it's got a hold of me
I don't think I can make it through this
now it's got a hold of me
the less I do the more it makes no sense

angels with dirty faces, sum41.