jolyn dislikes long profiles, they reveal too much, and where's the enigma in that? apart from that, jolyn is also an ugly monster, and if you have something against ugly people, then well, too bad.

jolyn adores music, androgynous boys, shark(boy)s, pink spiders, robots, black and red, the word 'awesome', musicians, and referring to herself as the third person, a trait she picked up from uncle goh.



(in no particular order)

ryan; yiling; elsia; cherie; tharsh; evelynwong; see ler1; see ler2; jumalia; kimberly; denise; dalila; weiping; nurul; shaun; kelvin; jessica; candice; grace; shyaza; chekseen; amirah; jaan; jedidah; nadzirah; juliana; aqilah; charlton; qixuan; aqila; xinyi; sili; samantha; melissa; jolene; nadia; nurul; suetfar; armeeza; joanna; melissa; sakinah; peishi; gurvin; wuyi; yingying; jennifer; dionne; peiwen; zakkiyah; azrina; estee; fiona; germaine; jiaqi; shirlynn; jacqueline; joshua; qianyun;

grouphug; ryan; postsecret; kennysia; xiaxue; levan; translation; dictionary; edison; youtube;

untold prophesy
lingyu
deborah
khairiah
cheryl
alvin

foto decadent ; moargh ; bias-ED.

iPod [video], sharkb0izx 101, scene hair, a lot of clothes, tongue, navel and lip piercings, shopping spree, a million billion trillion gazillion dollars, effective weight loss, accessories, skinnies, BILL!, a lot of moshing, 69 hours in a day, more gigs! ask me and i'll tell you

): life sucks.

feel like screaming at everything.

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{please, do not read this post. but we all know you will continue reading because you are a busybody. yeah. whatever. continue reading, then.}

i wonder why i bother trying to keep my friends. i wonder why i'm trying to hold on to invisble threads. you all leave me anyway, so why am i trying so hard? in the end, you'll all leave me, one by one. you claim to stick by me, but can you honestly tell me you're not sick of my constant whining and whinging? can you be true and promise me you wouldn't abandon me like you always wanted to?

i plead for help, but you all think i'm joking. why don't you all take me seriously for once? i tell you i get suicidal thoughts, we both know that i'm not serious about carrying it out. but what if. WHAT IF, what if one day it's too much for me to take? what if i snap and jump off the building? will you cry for me? will you cry for the shell of a girl - a bloodied one - lying in a mangled heap on the ground floor? are you going to wish you could turn back time? wish you could - or WOULD - pay more attention to this soul screaming for help?

or are you just going to pretend i never existed, pretend i was just a nightmare? i wonder where my TRUE friends are. sometimes they forget me. not sometimes, actually. they forget me always. i wonder what i did wrong. they seem to find me only when i'm needed. example? they want to borrow things, they want me to help them with their work, they want me to accompany them home.

i wonder if i'm too nice. am i being stepped on? am i the one to blame for letting you walk all over me without telling you it's wrong? i feel like slapping myself.

i'm typing this to make you feel guilty, but what is the use? all the fuckers out there don't read. i ought to go on tv, complaining about my life and how it's full of downs instead of ups.

i'm going to forget.

i'm going to forget the people who don't care
i'm going to forget the friendships that we share
i'm going to let myself go
i'm going to be a loner if it means i won't get betrayed.

i'm going to push everyone away.

don't fuck with me.
i'm so seriously sick of lies.

if you are going to lie, then don't promise in the first place. get my hopes high for no fucking reason.

FUCKYOU.FUCKEVERYTHINGINTHEISWORLD.IDON'TFUCKINGBELONG.

-end-

stop fucking with my fragile heart,
i'm just a broken girl with broken dreams aplenty
i fight to swim, but still i'm sinking
suffocated by your empty words, and broken promises
can you let me go? release me from this cage
this cage of intolerable pain
that's killing me slowly and softly,
gradually and eventually.
i scream tonight,
the words falling apart
torn and rip at my seams, and i come apart.

BYE BYE FUCKER. i'm going to die.

stop fucking with me, i'm just not alright.