jolyn dislikes long profiles, they reveal too much, and where's the enigma in that? apart from that, jolyn is also an ugly monster, and if you have something against ugly people, then well, too bad.

jolyn adores music, androgynous boys, shark(boy)s, pink spiders, robots, black and red, the word 'awesome', musicians, and referring to herself as the third person, a trait she picked up from uncle goh.



(in no particular order)

ryan; yiling; elsia; cherie; tharsh; evelynwong; see ler1; see ler2; jumalia; kimberly; denise; dalila; weiping; nurul; shaun; kelvin; jessica; candice; grace; shyaza; chekseen; amirah; jaan; jedidah; nadzirah; juliana; aqilah; charlton; qixuan; aqila; xinyi; sili; samantha; melissa; jolene; nadia; nurul; suetfar; armeeza; joanna; melissa; sakinah; peishi; gurvin; wuyi; yingying; jennifer; dionne; peiwen; zakkiyah; azrina; estee; fiona; germaine; jiaqi; shirlynn; jacqueline; joshua; qianyun;

grouphug; ryan; postsecret; kennysia; xiaxue; levan; translation; dictionary; edison; youtube;

untold prophesy
lingyu
deborah
khairiah
cheryl
alvin

foto decadent ; moargh ; bias-ED.

iPod [video], sharkb0izx 101, scene hair, a lot of clothes, tongue, navel and lip piercings, shopping spree, a million billion trillion gazillion dollars, effective weight loss, accessories, skinnies, BILL!, a lot of moshing, 69 hours in a day, more gigs! ask me and i'll tell you

omg. it suddenly dawned on me that tomorrow i have to get up at 5 in the morning, wash and dress up in the speed of light, and then rush to school. whatthefuck. and i completed reading my lit text in ms pauline's class today! ain't i fast? haha. i completed my work quickly, and then ploughed through the text.

ugh. so now, i only have chinese left. OMG. i so dread it. chinese sucks. i love marion raven's cd! i bought it today. i'm broke and broken now. sighh. i'm a complete failure. was thinking of.... you know. what could've been. as i was on my way home from tuition, i couldn't help it la.

i can't believe it. now we barely even talk. but honestly...i think i didn't really like him as a boyfriend. maybe as a friend? i don't know. i was so caught up in the fact that someone actually likes me. and i was insecure. so so so insecure. don't you often doubt whether this person likes you? i have no idea. it's cos of my looks that i act this way.

i can't help but worry, you know? his friends tell him he often looks at girls, and i am not a stunner...so. yeah. 'love yourself before loving anybody'. that's completely true. you have to love yourself, and believe in yourself before you love someone else. it was a mistake, i realize that. if you don't love yourself, you'll get insecure and doubt just fogs your mind. boy, oh boy. why can't i love myself?

haha... i'm fat. and ugly. not to mention stupid. i think of the past. of how i should've studied for my psle. maybe then i COULD get into rgs. instead, i was playing the whole time. i couldn't give a bloody fuck about my future. it's too far. i remember going for rgs's open house, and looking at the magnificent building and telling my friends 'i love this school!' lala, susu, tharsh and i promised we would see each other there the next year.

haha...instead i got into cedar. well. that wasn't a big mistake.. but what if i were a rafflesian now? joanna told me before psle, i distinctly remember, 'jolyn...you know you can go RGS? hahaaaha. but too bad la. you too lazy!' that hurt. but it was too late for me to do anything.

all the supplementary classes i skipped, all the times i didn't do my homework and copied off my friends. all the times i joked around instead of concentrating during lessons. sigh. all the notes i took, but lost. all the notes i didn't take cos i was too busy doodling. all the time i wasted playing. i wish i could redo primary school.

even ms pauline said so... she asked me, 'jolyn, finished your homework assignments?' i shot her a sheepish grin and shook my head. she tutted, and then said 'aiya. your types all like that one la. smart but lazy'.

i'm not smart, i admit. but if i had worked harder. IF ONLY. i wish i were more motivated for school. instead of complaining how the teachers suck, i should exclaim, 'I LOVE MY TEACHERS!'

i give up too easily. no will to go on at all. the maths problems i get wrong, ms pauline would insist i try again, rectify the mistakes, but i would try, and then throw my pen down in defeat. goodness. are all singaporeans like that?? no wonder the foreigners are the top pupils. the china pupils study so hard, i really admire them. the teachers always say we're lazy.

i think i really should do something, but the 'something' i do only lasts for 3 seconds, tops. i look at the maths problem, and then groan inwardly. my brain cells feel dead.

i can ask my parents, what do they regret the most? and they would say..i wish i had studied harder. do i want to be like them? regret not studying hharder? my mum regrets not furthering her education, and going onto jc. my dad was a dropout. that's why they pin so much hope on me. i do not want to disappoint them. my dad gave me a talk today. he says i should get my priorities straight. i'm young, i should study.

everything comes after education. my mum hopes i can get into university. they believe i can, and my mum says she will do anything to pay for the university fees. it's their dream, and they want me to fulfil it. i don't want to disappoint them, and besides....going to university is fun. i like school - not lessons (FORCE MYSELF TO LOVE IT. I LOVE MATHS! I LOVE CHINESE!) - i get to mix with friends, gossip (HAH. AND BITCH AROUND).

my mum wants me to be a doctor.
my dad wants me to be a lawyer.

i have no idea what i want to be.

i shall be a drifter, and go with the flow.

i'm too young to decide what i want to be.

all i know is that i should study hard. and now i'm going to complete my chinese homework. whether i like it or not.

taaaa. sighh. school tomorrow.

wait. that's wrong. i mean.

YAY! SCHOOL TOMORROW! HURRAY!